Away On Dragon's Wings
by Skycat
Summary: Hakkai gets distracted at the wrong moment because of a casual comment by his friends, resulting in what could be the downfall of their group. Co-written with "Me"
1. 1:1

Away on Dragon's Wings

Collaborated work by: Skycat and "Me"

Part One

They never thought. They never even considered the consequences of their words. I mean, why would they? Why would they even consider that the calm, amiable Hakkai would take offense at their off-handed comments. No, they didn't think, and because of this, it would be the beginnings of the downfall of their little quartet.

Chapter One

Before the sun peeked over the horizon to greet the faintly blushing sky, before the night insects ceased their nocturnal symphony, before even the cock crowed to announce the beginnings of a new day, a column of dust echoed the passage of something moving at good speed across the dry, desert plain. The cause of the disturbance was a green jeep that sped across the terrain at a simple 40 miles an hour. Inside the jeep were four men. One of which yawned expansively.

"Tell me again why we have to be up at this insane hour?" he said in a voice full of annoyed suffering.

"Yeah! I didn't even get to eat breakfast!" voiced the youngest of the group from his seat next to the red-head. His piping voice made Gojyo twitch. It was far too early to deal with Goku's complaints. Deciding to voice his vaulted opinion, he said, "Shut up, monkey. It's way too early for breakfast." The last was announced with a glare to the back of the blonde head riding shot-gun. The term fitted perfectly to the man's personality, Gojyo thought, due to the man's tendency to wield his small gun at even his closest friends. Of course, that thought would allow him the privilege to see the business end of the monk's banishing gun yet again if he heard Gojyo call them his friends.

"We haven't seen hide nor hair of a demon in nearly a fortnight, don't you find that a bit odd?" asked their driver without taking his eyes off the road.

Gojyo leaned back in his seat, cradling the back of his head in his hands. "If they come, they come, Hakkai. Why worry?"

The brunette chuckled. "Yes, however, I believe it would be wiser to reach a town as soon as possible. Besides," his eyes rose to meet Gojyo's in the rearview mirror, "We're nearly out of supplies."

"What?! I thought you said we had enough to last us another week!"

"Ah ha! Well, actually, I said that if we rationed our food wisely, we might have enough for a week."

As if pulled by a magnate, Gojyo's eyes turned to fall on the golden-eyed boy next to him. His eyebrow twitched at the innocent expression of the boy's face. In one swift movement, he held Goku up by the neck and began throttling him. "You stupid monkey! You ate all of our food again, didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU!?"

Goku yelped and immediately began struggling. "I was hungry you stupid, perverted, water-sprite! Let me go!" Deft with months of long practice, Goku slipped out of Gojyo's hold and yanked on his dark-red hair.

"Yeouch! Don't touch my hair, you midget monkey!"

"Then don't call me a monkey!"

"You ARE a monkey, so deal!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

BANG! The shot echoed in the sudden silence. The heretofore silent monk lowered his arm. "Now shut up!" he growled without even turning around. The silence remained for about five minutes before Goku sighed. "Oi! Sanzo?"

"You're hungry," Sanzo finished for him.

"Wow! How did you know?" Goku asked, wide-eyed.

"It's because that's all you ever say, stupid monkey," Gojyo smirked.

"Don't call me stupid!"

"I only call them as I see them, stupid monkey."

Before Goku could reply, Hakkai's voice cut in smoothly. "Now, now. We don't know how much longer we have until a town, so let's try not to let Sanzo waste all of his bullets."

Gojyo looked up from his half-nelson hold on Goku. "Geez, Hakkai, you can be so cold," Gojyo commented, dropping Goku like a disease.

Hakkai laughed softly. "How about you take a nap? It is terribly early and I'm sure you and Goku could do for some more sleep."

"Yeah, good idea." Gojyo shifted in the back seat, trying to get more comfortable. "Shove over, monkey. Give a guy some room to snooze."

"But Hakkai, I'm still hungry!" Goku protested, moving over slightly to give Gojyo about an inch of leg space.

"There are some meat buns under your seat, Goku." Goku cheered. "Try to make them last, though. We haven't got much else to eat."

"Too late," Gojyo said dryly, having just seen Goku swallow them whole. Hakkai bit back a sigh. Oh well, you could only control them so much.

About ten minutes later, Goku's soft snoring echoed the more accommodating nasal orchestra coming from Gojyo. Sanzo shook his head. "How you get them to listen to you is something I still don't understand," he said in his usual annoyed-at-the-world voice.

Hakkai shrugged, "Really, it's up to them whether they take my advice or not."

"Yes, but they usually do."

"I guess I give good advice then, no?"

Sanzo snorted. Even the snores of Goku was restful and a welcome change to the cacophony of noise that usually occupied the back of the jeep. He intended to enjoy the peace for as long as it lasted.

Hakkai sighed silently, careful not disturb the tranquility of the moment for Sanzo's sake. Perhaps the rare break from the endless monotony of the fights in back would help Sanzo's perpetual bad mood? Perhaps he was wishing in vain? Most likely, Hakkai thought with a smirk. Besides, despite the affect it seemed to have on Sanzo, Hakkai was glad that the two fought as they did. Goku seemed to take Gojyo back to a time when maturity was not even a consideration. They fought like brothers, each battling for the attention of one of the adults. Which one was questionable, Sanzo mostly likely, since the man was Goku's whole reason to live and Gojyo… Well, Gojyo was Gojyo. Yet, when left to themselves, the pair seemed to get along like a house on fire.

Sanzo shot a glance at Hakkai from the corner of his eye. The corners of Hakkai's mouth were quirked upward slightly, but that gave no clue to the man's thoughts. Hell, the man could be thinking of the brutal murder of one or all of their traveling companions and that damned smile wouldn't waver. Actually, Sanzo believed that Hakkai created little elaborate deaths for them in his head when they annoyed him, just so he didn't get violent like Sanzo did. Sanzo tried it as well, it didn't help his mood because he knew he wouldn't be allowed to do it. Still, that silent smirk slightly unnerved Sanzo, although he'd never admit it aloud. It unnerved him because he never knew how close Hakkai was to his breaking point. Even with Chin Issu it was Gojyo that realized the demon's preoccupation. It must be a skill picked up from living together for so long.

Most likely, Hakkai was worrying. He tended to do that a lot, whether it was necessary or not. Their dwindling supplies were something to be concerned about. Not by Sanzo, of course. Also, Hakkai tended to try and look ahead, so he was most likely to be trying to figure out what their enemies were up to. Their last bunch of demons were just like all of the others. The assassins were relying on large numbers to try and cut them down. You'd think they'd learn after the 50th attempt.

"Oi? Sanzo?" Hakkai's voice slid into Sanzo's thoughts, effortlessly bringing him back to the jeep. He was going to ask what he thought the demons were up to, and damned if he knew. Hakkai could be so predictable sometimes.

Sanzo didn't respond, but Hakkai continued regardless. "Where do you think the phrase, 'get along like a house on fire' came from?"

Apparently this wasn't one of those times. Sanzo turned to stare blankly at Hakkai. "What?"

"You'd think that a house and a fire wouldn't get along very well, since the fire would burn the house. Perhaps the phrase meant to be read more that they _move _along like a house on fire, uncaring if anything got in the way. What do you think?"

"Hakkai?"

"Yes, Sanzo?"

"Shut up." Sometimes Hakkai could be just as annoying as the two in back.

Hakkai shrugged and turned his attention back to the road. Sanzo didn't seem to be in the mood for small talk. He supposed that the question was rather odd, but the look on Sanzo's face was priceless. Even Hakkai had to have his little fun every now and then. Besides, after driving hours on end, everyday, for several months, the mind tends to wander.

* * *

It was raining, it always rained. It didn't matter that he was sinking down into the deep, green ocean; it still rained. Hakkai could feel the rain pelt his face, he could feel it mix with his sweat. Hakkai raised his hand to wipe it from his eyes but his vision remained smeared. He began to claw at the water, searching from something to grab onto. Something that would stop him from sinking, hold at least from reaching the bottom. But he found nothing but a weird substance that felt as insubstantial as Jell-o. His breath began to hitch, fear seizing him, causing his actions to become frantic. He tried to swim, tried to flap his arms and legs as hard as possible, but still he fell. Hakkai squeezed his green eyes tight, repeating to himself, "It's just a dream, just a dream." He tried to imagine the room; its simple wooden structure, the firm mattress, the rottingtable and chairs, and the soft sound of Sanzo's breathing. Hakkai forced his eyes open to now stare at a wooden ceiling, no longer his inescapable prison. He breathed heavily and quickly tried to calm his racing mind.

He could hear the clamor next door, Gojyo and Goku were obviously both awake. Hakkai sighed and turned to look at the sleeping Sanzo, he smiled remembering earlier when Sanzo had said that Goku and Gojyo would have to share a room together. A soft chuckling escaped his lips, recalling the argument and anger than ensued. Hakkai turned onto his side, relaxed and ready to sleep again. And just as he closed his eyes a soft pitter patter of water could be heard dropping somewhere in the inn.

Had his dream been a premonition of the rain to come? He knew from the moment he heard the first drop of the celestial liquid that sleep would no longer be an option. He could never sleep when it rained. Still, he lay in the drowning silence, his eyes resolutely shut as rain pelted down in a thunderous roar around them.

They were lucky. They found the tiny town very late the day before. Actually, it was so late that when they checked into the inn it was that morning. Sanzo had announced that they wouldn't be traveling the next day, much to the relief of his companions. They all were getting edgy from remaining in each other's constant presence for days on end with no demons to take their frustrations out on. Sanzo showed the strain by steadily smoking his way through his stash of cigarettes and using his gun on the two in back more often then his fan. Gojyo and Goku were constantly at each other's throats and even Hakkai had had to restrain himself from asking Sanzo if he could borrow his fan to quiet to two. Not often, but that showed how the cramped quarters were getting to them all. So the unexpected relief from the sight of one another, or at least in the comfort of a solid wall between, was quite a luxury. Too bad the inn was so small they only had two rooms. Oh well, they'll get all the space they needed later on, when they would traditionally drift apart. Sanzo would disappear into his newspaper for hours on end, Gojyo would head off in search of a bar, and Hakkai would try to get some reading done, but most likely be taking Goku out shopping for supplies before Sanzo causes him concussion.

End of Chapter 1, Part 1.


	2. 2:1

Away on Dragon's Wings

Collaborated work by: Skycat and "Me"

Chapter Two

Hakkai trudged through the dirt path, his head hanging slightly downwards as he was lost in thought. Goku walked next to him, he was chatting continuously about something while Hakkai just nodded his head and gave a friendly grin when it felt needed. He was trying to listen to Goku, well, sort of, but the image of water tugged at his mind. Hakkai sighed hoping to release the clinging memory of the dream but it remained, haunting him. And for some reason he found it bothersome that all traces of last nights rain had disappeared into the heat. He almost felt as if he wished it were there, some type of evidence it had existed, something for him to cling to.

"Oi, Hakkai are you even listening?" Goku stepped in front of the hazed Hakkai. He twisted his face into an innocent child upset that their parent wasn't listening to whatever they found oh so important.__

"Of course I am!" Hakkai gave an appropriate grin to soothe Goku's worries. "Hey why don't we head back to the inn? It's about time for dinner." Hakkai wanted the promise of food to end the rest of the conversation. He didn't want to talk for now. For some reason all he wanted was to sit and think, somewhere without interruptions. Somewhere that he didn't have to worry about constant begging for food, noisy gunshots, quarreling, or demons attacking. Hakkai felt a sigh rise in his throat and he quickly swallowed it. Now wasn't a good time to think, at least not about what he wanted. He had too much to do: food and supplies to pack, make sure Sanzo doesn't actually kill Gojyo or Goku, make sure Goku and Gojyo don't kill each other, make sure demons don't kill any of them.... Hakkai ran the list over in his mind, reassuring himself he didn't have to think right now, he shouldn't, there was just too much else to deal with for the moment.

His entrance back at the inn was greeted with a cheer from Gojyo. "There he is! Oi, Hakkai! Did ya pick up any cigarettes? I'm completely out." Hakkai plastered a grin on and dug out a pack of Gojyo's brand, Hi-Lites, tossing it to him. Gojyo's mouth thanked him, but his mind was set on opening the pack and lighting up.

"Hakkai! Hakkai!" Hakkai felt the familiar tug on his sleeve. He flashed his quick grin down at Goku's wide, open face. "Yes, yes, Goku. Let's go see about dinner, okay?"

"Yess!"

Sanzo glanced up from his paper and froze. Had that been a look of pain on Hakkai's face just then? A lesser man would have dismissed it as his imagination, but Sanzo made sure not to let such trivial aspects of himself interfere with reality. It was a fleeting slip of Hakkai's interminable smile. Staring unseeing at the bold print in his paper (Man Fallen into Upholstery Machine, Now Fully Recovered) Sanzo found he couldn't brush the sight from his mind.

Sanzo was being unusually quiet, Hakkai found. Chaos rained around their feast laden table while Sanzo sat, seemingly oblivious in the depths of his paper. _Must be an interesting article, _Hakkai though leaning over to catch a glimpse of the headline. He raised at eyebrow at it but shrugged it off. _As long as Sanzo is entertained. _Hakkai glanced at Gojyo and Goku, they were arguing over a plate of food. Hakkai slowly reached out to grab a bit of food, hoping not to distract the two from their argument. He was successful and began munching on his bit of food. He leaned back in his chair to watch the fight ensue and wonder how long it would take Sanzo to react.

"That meatball is mine, you stupid monkey boy, now give it here!" Gojyo lashed out trying to grab the food from Goku. Goku however quickly stuffed the food in his mouth then looked at Gojyo innocently, begging him to ask for the meatball again. "You damn monkey!" Gojyo began beating Goku on the head, in some weird hope it would bring back the meatball.

"Ah, Gojyo stop it!" Goku swung his arms upwards to stop Gojyo. Hakkai glanced at Sanzo out of the corner of his eye, still no response from the monk. Hakkai gulped down the last bit of his food. He hoped this didn't mean Sanzo was going to blow up at a random moment.

Sanzo remained oblivious for the next ten minutes until with an almighty crash, Gojyo knocked Goku forward, straight into Sanzo's plate. Sanzo jumped, his gun leveled at Goku's head before he saw who it was. Recovering magnificently, Sanzo growled, "Shut up! You two make so much noise that it's impossible to think!" A lie, but a plausible one. After traveling with them for so long, it became easy to tune the continuous fights out. Eventually.

Hakkai helped clean the mess up, apologizing to the waitress until she had to laugh. The evening wound down, as it always did. Gojyo left to try and find a bed warmer, hopefully woman-shaped, while Goku sprawled out on Sanzo's bed. Sanzo occupied a nearby chair, fitfully trying to finish his paper, while Hakkai tried to read his book. He'd brought several books along on the journey, but was still on the first. He rarely had time to relax like this. Goku snored nearby while the scent of Sanzo's cigarette filled the air. For the first time in a while, Hakkai tried to immerse himself in his book. He opened the book, the old pages giving him a comforting smell. He relaxed back into his chair, found his place and began to read. Or rather he tried to begin reading, but after re-reading the same couple of pages over and not realizing it, Hakkai decided it was impossible. He could concentrate at the moment, he couldn't seem to relax his mind. Hakkai glanced over at Sanzo to see what the priest was up too. Sanzo was still engrossed in his paper. Hakkai could have sworn that Sanzo had to read those same articles a million times for as often as he read the seemingly same paper.

Hakkai sighed and turned back to his book. He attempted to read again. He tried to let Goku's gentle snoring calm his mind enough to concentrate but all that lead him to was wondering if they had enough food to last to the next town. Then his thought lead to if he had enough cigarettes for Sanzo and Gojyo. Which of course lead him to wonder if Gojyo was okay, what he was up to, and if he had found another demon disguised as a woman. That of course meant Gojyo might be in trouble and although Hakkai knew Gojyo could defend himself, that didn't stop the worrying. _Listen to me, I sound like their mother!_ Hakkai laughed inward at the thought.  
_If I am the mother_, his thought continued, _then Sanzo has to be the father. Ha! He even reads the newspaper like the stereotypical father in the old books_. Hakkai enjoyed the image for a moment. Still, his amused thoughts didn't linger long, drifting away like the intangible mist in the wind.

Sanzo glanced up from the paper, still unsure about whether to mention anything to Hakkai. It wasn't his business, but it was driving him insane! To speak or not to speak, that is the question.

Sanzo finally decided not to speak of Hakkai's strange behavior. It wasn't his business. Standing, he walked over to his bed and dumped Goku unceremoniously out of it. "Get your own bed, monkey." Goku sat up dazed, then glared at Sanzo.

"Hey I was trying to sleep! Why you have to do that!" Goku stood up and rubbed his head.

"Cause its my bed." Sanzo glared down an Goku.

"You weren't using it!"

"I am now. Now go to your own room!"

"Goku," Hakkai put in, unperturbed by the fight. "We're leaving early tomorrow, so try and get to get some sleep."

Goku sighed and dragged himself out of the room. As he walked out the door, he called over his shoulder. "I'd better get a big breakfast tomorrow! I'm already starving!"

Hakkai chuckled softly at Goku's remark. "Always hungry," he mumbled to himself as Goku stomped out of the room. Hakkai turned to Sanzo and with a forced grin and proclaimed, "Well, we better get to bed as well."

Sanzo gave him a studying look. "Yeah," he said quietly, his eyes seemingly glued to Hakkai.

If Hakkai noticed he didn't say, as he slipped into bed. Sanzo snorted, turned off the lights, and tried to sleep.

Hakkai was already up and gone when Sanzo awoke the next morning. That fact wasn't unusual, so he paid it no mind. In fact, he was rather glad that he didn't have to face Hakkai first thing. He had had a dream about Hakkai that disturbed him.

They had been traveling as usual, in his dream, when suddenly the ground beneath Hakaryuu gave way. They fell, yet only Hakkai seemed normal when they fell. He was still speaking as he had in the jeep, as if nothing had changed. Suddenly, they plunged into water. They resurfaced, all but Hakkai, who drowned without even noticing it.

It was a very strange dream.

Hakkai bustled, doing the normal morning chores he had performed every morning in their travels. Check on Goku and Gojyo, order breakfast (that would take several hours to prepare because of the sheer enormity that they ate), check their wares, pack, make sure they have enough food, water, beer, cigarettes, and other paraphernalia that the members of their party needed, hide food in the jeep for Goku, and other such things that would make them ready for traveling as soon as possible.

Hakkai stuffed the last remaining items into the jeep. He was running over his metal checklist when Gojyo and Goku sauntered out of the inn. Both of their eyes were glazed with sleep as they practically leaned on one another as they made their way to the jeep. Sanzo came out a little while later, looking annoyed at the early morning hour. Hakkai grinned at them all trying to lighten their moods.

Gojyo climbed into the backseat, Sanzo took his respective place, Goku on the other hand had fallen asleep. Hakkai went over and gently woke him up and placed him into the backseat next to Gojyo. Hakkai sighed and made his way to the driver's seat. "Smells likes its going to rain," Sanzo said absentmindedly.  
Hakkai sniffed the air. "No. That's just the residue from this morning. It rained for about an hour."

Sanzo shot Hakkai a look. "Did it?"

Hakkai laughed lightly. "I guess everyone was so tired that they didn't even notice."

"You did, of course."

"Ah, well. I guess I have pretty good hearing."

"Che. Everything packed?"

Hakkai ran through the result of his mental check-list. "There is one last bag. I'll be right back."

Sanzo studied Hakkai as he left. The monk took out a cigarette, he tapped it against his lighter, thinking as he recalled his dream. Recalling Hakkai slowly retreating into the sea, not even noticing, or not even caring.

"I'm back, ready to go?" Hakkai grinned, held the bag up as proof and looked for a response. He received a unified mumbled "yes". Hakkai climbed into the driver's seat and started off, direction: straight west, as always.

"It's been raining a lot more," Sanzo commented, after taking a long drawl of his cigarette.

"Yea, I guess so," Hakkai responded.

"Wonder if that means spring is here." Sanzo cast a glance at Hakkai, waiting for a response.

Hakkai nodded, then his eyes widened and he remember. _Spring, that was when...that was when......_

"Oi, I'm hungry. Hakkai where did you hide the food?"

Sanzo scowled as the easily distracted Hakkai turned his attention of Goku, spoiling the stupid monkey horribly. Then again, Hakkai spoiled them all horribly, almost always giving in to their demands of food, cigarettes, alcohol, and the like. Still, was it him, or was Hakkai's usual smile more brittle this morning?

It started raining halfway through the day as they caught up to the mild storm that graced their Inn earlier. The rain wasn't that bad, so they continued driving through it, covering themselves and their supplies in water-proof coats.

Sanzo glared at his water-proof coat. He hated the damn thing, it was damn uncomfortable, damn annoying, and the damn blinding yellow looked horrid on him! He shifted in the stiff coat, biting on the edge of his cigarette, the rain wouldn't let him light the damn thing.

"If you pull your hood up you can light your cigarette." Hakkai informed the pouting priest warmly.

Sanzo glared at Hakkai and mumbled something about stupid, damn hoods. His cigarette was ruined anyway. He flicked the useless thing out of the jeep.

"Well well. What do ya know? The monk is littering!" Gojyo's grating voice arose from the back. Sanzo scowled.

"Idiot. Tobacco is a plant. So it's not littering."

"Uh huh," Gojyo, obviously not believing him, smirked.

"Oi, Sanzo? Tobacco is a plant? Can I eat it?"

"Stupid monkey," Gojyo mumbled from the corner of his mouth.

"'Fraid not Goku," Hakkai replied gently. "I'm sure you could try, but I doubt it would be any good."

"Too bad he can't eat the things. Then our supplies might actually last a bit longer." Gojyo said, glaring down at Goku.

"Yeah, but then he'd be eating all our cigarettes," Sanzo said.

Gojyo's eyebrow twitched as Goku sniffed one of Gojyo's cigarettes thoughtfully. "Don't even think about it, monkey!"

"Aw com'on! Just a taste?"

"Goku, there are some canned peaches under Gojyo's pack. You shouldn't try eating cigarettes. It's not healthy," Hakkai said smoothly.

Goku continued to eye the cigarettes. "Come on, can't I just try it? Why is it so bad anyway?" Goku cocked his head to look innocently at Hakkai.

Hakkai hesitated for a moment. "Well...."

"Just eat the peaches, you damn monkey!" Gojyo shouted and slammed his fist into Goku's head. "And stop crowding my space!"

Goku glared up at Gojyo. "Damn water-sprite! I just wanted to know, geez!"  
Hakkai raised a finger knowingly. "Ah, but if it's not healthy to smoke cigarettes, then it is certainly worse to eat them."

Goku stared blankly for a moment. "It's...not healthy to smoke them?"

"Oh great. Thanks a lot, Hakkai," Sanzo groaned, knowing what was coming.

"If it's so bad then why do you guys smoke them? You should stop if it's so bad for you!" Goku exclaimed. Leaning forward, he swung his head around to stare at Sanzo's brooding profile.

"Don't even think of touching my cigarettes, monkey," Sanzo growled.

"But Sanzo, Hakkai said they're bad for you!" Goku pleaded with Sanzo. "They could.......they could....." Goku looked towards Hakkai. "What could they do?"

"Well, they-"

"Spare us the lecture." Sanzo said irritated. "I don't care and I doubt a damn cigarette will kill me when I've got worse troubles." Sanzo turned to glare at Goku. "Now sit down and be quiet, dammit!"

Goku slumped back into his seat, still troubled by the cigarettes.

Meanwhile Gojyo murmured to himself, "Gee, nice to know you guys care about _my_ health!"

They managed to make it to the inn before nightfall. Gojyo and Goku were busy eating all the food the Inn had to offer. Hakkai, Gojyo noted between frequent bounds of chopstick battles with Goku, was being unusually quiet. He had a peculiar look on his face, one familiar to Gojyo, but out of place. Hakkai was wearing his usual mild grin but it had a slightly fixed look; the one he usually associated with when it was raining.

Hakkai was off in his own usual world, he realized, when Sanzo cracked his fan across both Gojyo's and Goku's head and Hakkai missed his usual cue of laughter and apologies to nearby tables for disturbing them. Perhaps he should forgo his plans of girl hunting to see what was up with his best friend?

Gojyo frowned and began to think. _Girls, so many babes, one less night near monkey boy,_ Gojyo thought, weighing his decision. _Then there's Hakkai. Not a babe, and waay to near monkey boy. Then again maybe....._ "Hey Hakkai, think I could room with you tonight, I can't stand this twerp another night!" Gojyo tried best to sound desperate and on the edge of sanity, not that far of a leap in the circumstances.

"Um, sure, but I think we all have our own rooms tonight. So it shouldn't be a problem." Hakkai's voice sounded less cheerful, and it was obvious when he tried to make up for it by grinning wider. "Well, anyway, I think I'll head to my room. Goodnight everyone."  
He had his own room?! That's perfect for babes....wait. Dammit, he'd decided to see what was up with Hakkai. Snagging the last egg roll, Gojyo stood and made a face at Goku as he headed after Hakkai.

The room was dark when Gojyo pushed open the door. Hakkai sat in the small window seat, oblivious to Gojyo's entry. A small smile graced his lips, residue of weeks and months of grinning nonstop. Yet, his eyes, Hakkai's eyes were dull and empty. Gojyo flinched when he saw his expression. He'd seen it before, but never on Hakkai's face. It was the eyes that Sanzo wore when it was raining. Gojyo glanced out the window, the sky was clear, with no hint of rain. Hakkai never reacted to the rain the same as Sanzo. Sanzo withdrew from any and all worldly contact, including food, while Hakkai tried to carry on with a smile so brittle that it would cut you if it broke. Gojyo was glad he'd chosen to see his friend. Something was very wrong. "Oi, Hakkai?"

Hakkai jumped, turning wide, surprised eyes on him. "Gojyo! You scared me. Is there something the matter?"

"That's my line, man. You look like you have Chin Issou standing on your head or something. You okay?"

Hakkai's lips curled in a fragile attempt at a smile, but Gojyo cut him off. "Stop that. I don't say anything usually because it seems to help you, but don't pretend that there's nothing wrong by smiling stupidly at me."

"I don't understand," Hakkai said.

Gojyo sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "What's wrong?"

"I..."

"And don't say everything's fine, 'cause I know that ain't the case."

Hakkai dropped his gaze. He stared at his hands laying folded in his lap. Those hands. Those hands that killed so many, yet were completely unable to save the one they did it for. _I love your hands._

Hakkai jerked his eyes up, but they refused to meet Gojyo's crimson gaze. Gojyo waited patiently while Hakkai tried to gather his thoughts. "I checked a calendar when we arrived here," he began. He couldn't help it, he smiled bitterly. "Tomorrow... is the anniversary of Kanan's death."

Gojyo felt as though he had just be slapped. Of all the things he'd expected, this wasn't anywhere close. "Shit, Hakkai," he breathed.

Hakkai finally met his gaze. "I'll be fine, Gojyo. I just need some time to think, if that is alright with you."

"Of course it's all right. I...You know, I'll be next door if you need anything. Anything, man. If there is something I can do, I'll do it..."

Hakkai smiled faintly. It was sad how tiny it was. "Thank you, Gojyo."

__

Of course he'd thank me for something like this, Gojyo thought as he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind.

Hakkai looked back down to his hands lost in painful memories. He began to trace his forefinger down the lines in his left hand. He gave another weak smile, hoping it would make the memories more enjoyable. "_I love your hands," _the echoing voice returned_. _Hakkai felt fingers trace over his hand and the echoing words came again _"I love your hands." _Hakkai's eyes automatically squeezed shut, trying to hold it in, trying to compose himself into what he was supposed to be. He was calm, cool, and collected, not breaking down, not lonely, not lost. A raspy sigh escaped from his lips attempting to ease the raw wound. "Four years is a long time. I shouldn't feel…..it shouldn't be this sharp. What ever happened to 'time heals all wounds'?" He slowly opened his eyes and focused on the room: a bed, table, and chair. Hakkai felt a chill creep into his bones, the loneliness of the room seeping into him. Hakkai quickly shifted to look outside the window. He placed his head on the cool window. His green eyes searched for something to occupy his mind. There was nothing but empty streets, a crescent moon, and a few dull stars to help. Another sigh escaped him and he returned to tracing the lines on his hands and playing the memories of Kanan in his mind.

Gojyo still stood at Hakkai's door, wresting with what to do next. Tell Sanzo seemed like a good idea, but he had a feeling the monk already knew. He couldn't go back in there, he didn't know what he was supposed to say now. "This is just too damn awkward!" he mumbled. "Maybe I should just go talk to the monk anyway." Gojyo walked a few doors down and knocked strongly on the door. "Hey monk, you in there?" No response. Gojyo pounded the door again, just to make sure. "Sanzo?" Again no response, so Gojyo decided he must still be downstairs. "Damn monk, never there when I need ya." Gojyo rushed down the stairs, anxious to get another awkward situation over with. But Sanzo wasn't downstairs either, in fact, even Goku didn't know where he was, for Sanzo told him he was going to bed. Gojyo sighed and decide to give up. What was the point anyway? So it was off to booze, babes, and card games.

He was halfway out the door when a thought floated back to him. What if Hakkai went to talk to him and he wasn't there? Or, even worse, what if Goku tried to interrupt Hakkai's "alone" time? That decided him. Gojyo would stay and keep an eye on the monkey.


	3. 3:1

Away on Dragon's Wings

Collaborated work by: Skycat and "Me"

Chapter Three

Hakkai awoke the next morning feeling like shit. He had fallen asleep in the window, so his back and neck felt like one big cramp. He was also hungry, not having eaten since the morning before, and depressed. All in all, he felt like he had cause to be rather cranky. But no cranky-ness allowed for Hakkai. He still had a job to do. The dawn's early light was just spilling over the countryside when Hakkai finished tying up the last bundle. He stretched carefully, grimacing as his back protested loudly against the movement. He sighed softly. The others would be awake soon. It was time to start the day. Hakkai took a shaky breath and stepped out to face the world.

Or the scowling face of a certain blonde monk, as it turned out. Hakkai, his hand still resting on the door-knob, stared curiously at Sanzo. "Yes?"

Sanzo's scowl darkened. "Only making sure you are awake. Come on. I want to get an early start."

"Right. I've ordered breakfast..."

"Goku and Gojyo's finished it already."

"Oh?" Hakkai hid a wince. He still hadn't eaten. Not that he'd tell the others. They had enough to worry about without Hakkai grousing about a few lost meals. Grabbing the last bag, he grinned at Sanzo. Sanzo snorted and walked away, clearly expected Hakkai to follow. Hakkai did, wondering when would be the next chance he'd get to eat. If they had the opportunity for lunch, which was rare, however, if not, then he'd have to wait until that evening. If Hakkai ate in the jeep then Goku would be all over him trying to get some food. Sanzo wouldn't appreciate that. Hakkai hated doing anything that made his friends upset.

"Let's go," Sanzo said. Hakkai slipped quietly into the driver's seat and braced himself for the rest of the day.

The hunger seemed to be eating his stomach, but there was nothing he could do. Hakkai only hoped that Gojyo and Goku's arguing would cover the occasional sound of his empty stomach. Hakkai's hands gripped the steering wheel tight, a reflex from being so light-headed. What he wouldn't give for a single crumb right now, anything to take the sharpness out of the hunger. And to join in on his horrid day, a migraine headache had surfaced and now threatened to burn his eyes out. Hakkai felt so horrible that stopping this jeep and throwing everyone out and pouting seemed like a very wonderful, very pleasant idea, but he couldn't and wouldn't. There would be no point, the pain would still be there, but at least their noises wouldn't aggravate his head, and the slight smell of food wouldn't taunt his lips. Hakkai began let out a huge sigh, but stopped himself, after his talk with Gojyo he didn't want to give any slight hints that something was wrong.

Of course, when your friend is a monk who notices everything and anything, even breathing deep is too much of a hint. "Something still bothering you?" Sanzo turned to look towards Hakkai but threw a backward glance at the two in the back. He didn't want an intrusion.

Hakkai blanched. Caught. In an attempt to cover-up, Hakkai laughed easily, casting a side-long glance at Sanzo. "Just a touch of a headache. It must be the heat," he said dismissively. Sanzo scowled and spun around to catch Goku and Gojyo's heads with the back of his fan. "Now you see?! You're so loud you're even giving _Hakkai_ a headache!"

The sudden silence unnerved him. Gojyo placed his hand on his shoulder. "Hakkai?"

Hakkai flashed him a reassuring grin. "I'm fine, Gojyo. Don't worry." Sanzo watched as Gojyo's expression didn't change as he leaned back. Goku opened his mouth. "Oi? Hakkai? Hakkai? You alright? Does your head hurt? Hey?"

Hakkai winced inwardly. That was the reason he shouldn't have said anything. Now he had them worried. He tried to think quickly around the blinding pain in his head. "Just a little, Goku. Don't worry. It's probably from all this heat."

"I didn't see you at breakfast this morning. Did you get anything to eat?" Gojyo asked suddenly.

Hakkai froze. "Uhh."

"Shit, Hakkai," Gojyo spat. Rummaging around in a bag, he produced an apple that he handed over to Hakkai, who gave him a weak grin and took it. After living with the man for nearly three years, Gojyo had picked up on Hakkai's little habits. Like, not telling people he hadn't eaten. The last time it happened, Gojyo's luck had been low and Hakkai failed to mention there being little food in the house. Hakkai had nearly passed out for going for four days without a proper meal.

"Hey? Gojyo? Give me an apple, will ya?"

Gojyo ignored Goku and quickly gave Hakkai the apple along with a huge scowl. "Your going to make yourself sick if you don't eat."

Hakkai gingerly took the apple. He grinned slightly at Gojyo's concern, trying to keep the situation light. "Ah, don't worry about it. I wasn't that hungry anyway."

Gojyo frowned, not believing the response, but he let it go and slid back into his seat.

"Hey Gojyo, what about my apple? You know I can get sick too!"

Gojyo glared down at Goku, his eyebrow twitching. "Are you kidding?..." Then the fighting ensued and Hakkai turned back around, his grin placed back on his face. Everything settled to the way it always did. Sanzo, however, watched Hakkai out of the corner of his eyes for the rest of the day. Sanzo didn't like Hakkai's uneasy behavior, it was worse than usual. _Something's tormenting him, something that almost has to be more than the usual._

__

"Come on! The least you could do is give me something to eat! I'm starving over here!"

"Why should I? You eat all of our food anyway! You can wait until lunch!"

"Hakkai!"

"Don't you go running to Hakkai, you stupid no-brain monkey!"

"Don't call me a monkey, you perverted cockroach! Ya starting something?!"

A vein in Sanzo's forehead throbbed in rhythm to the voices raised behind him.

"Maybe I am! Do ya wanna do something about it?! Midget monkey! Chibi chimp!"

A second knot appeared next to the first as Sanzo tried in vain to ignore them.

Goku turned to Hakkai. "Pull over, man! I'm taking him out!"

"Now, now, Goku," Hakkai said in an amused voice.

"Ha! You couldn't beat me if you tried, stupid monkey!"

"SHUT UP!" Sanzo's Japanese fan whipped across Goku and Gojyo's heads. "Be quiet or you're full of lead!" The pair glared dubiously at Sanzo's twitching trigger finger and subsided for the time being.

The morning passed without further incident. Gojyo and Goku passed the time playing cards and bickering. Sanzo brought out his infamous fan several times while wondering how Hakkai managed to take their annoying fights in stride. Hakkai laughed weakly, trying his best to ignore the black depression hovering on the edge of his mind. The country-side rolled by as they headed unerringly West. There wasn't time to falter, to get distracted. They all had painful memories. It would be selfish of Hakkai to allow his to overcome his exhausted mind.

Again they repeated their routine, all four gathered at an inn, Hakkai and Sanzo upstairs in the room and Goku and Gojyo remained fighting over the last bits of food. Sanzo sat reading his paper and Hakkai shifted through his book. Hakkai tried to concentrate on the words but there was an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach. Something was horribly, strangely wrong, but Hakkai didn't know what. Perhaps it was the odd feeling that had sunken into the room. An uncomfortable feeling, one that warned against any sudden movements or loud noises. Hakkai glanced over at Sanzo, but the monk seemed to only be his usual, irate self. Hakkai shook his head trying to clear himself of that feeling.

Goku soon burst into the room, a big grin on his face and a bruise on his cheek, indicating he'd won the last of the food. "Hey, Sanzo!" Goku plopped down next to the monk, starving for attention.  
Hakkai gave up on his book, closing it carefully. He stood, giving Goku and Sanzo a brief grin and slipped quietly out of the room. A long, hot bath would be just the thing right now.

He sank into the all encompassing heat with a soft sigh. The warmth lapped at his chest as he shut his eyes against the moisture hung air. The room was silent, minus the soft splashing against the tub sides.

Hakkai felt himself drifting off to sleep, the warmth of his bath was so soothing and relaxing. He enjoyed the rare silence it provided. Just listening to nothing eased his soul. There was nothing he need to concentrate on, nothing that needed his attention, nothing but air running by his ears and the slight splashing of the water that called him to focus. Hakkai smiled in his comfort. Finally a moment of complete peace, no screaming, yelling, and fighting, no sideways glances from Sanzo, none of Gojyo's worries, nothing to remind him of his life, of himself. Hakkai fell into a slight nonexistence, finally a life with no responsibilities or past.

Rain poured down in torrents, striking the hallowed halls like an incessant drum. Hundreds of nameless faces, each one uglier, more disgusting than the last passed through his red-stained vision. So many faces, each unimportant, each monster an obstacle in his path, expendable. They fell in rivers. Their bodies hitting the ground in rapid succession, echoing the terrible rhythm beating at the walls and ceiling. No one survived, each falling into the turbulent flow of blood that swept along in his wake. A whirling pool, dragging him down deeper into the pit until he reached a plateau deep within the bowels on the castle. The only dry area, free of taint, a shining light that freed him of the chains that dragged him into Hell's jaws. A brief light submerged by a sudden surge and extinguished, leaving him alone in the dark, drowning in a sea of blood. _Somebody kill me._

Hakkai jerked awake to his own spluttering, he spit out the now cold bath water, feeling completely frozen. _How long have I been here?_ Hakkai quickly dressed and drained the water. He opened door quietly, knowing only that it was sometime into the night and he did not wish to disturb anybody. He tiptoed back to his room and slid underneath his covers. Hakkai sighed gently and closed his eyes to sleep now accompanied by snoring, and a strange wheezing noise Gojyo was producing.

He lay for a moment, unable to place what seemed amiss in the room. It was the fourth familiar stream of relaxed air. Sanzo wasn't asleep. Hakkai rolled over and spied the empty bed, laid neatly as if to mock him by it's occupant's absence. The soft noises of the other two people failed to relax him, his mind exhausted but unable to rest. Sanzo was probably out having a smoke or something, no reason to be worried. It wasn't as if he were…missing. He just wasn't there. Finally, he sighed and sat up. He wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

Moving to curl up in the window seat, Hakkai stared down at the empty road. Well, Sanzo could take care of himself, he wouldn't appreciate Hakkai disturbing him. Dull, green eyes watched the passage of dark clouds over the brilliantly hung moon, it's light falling though Hakkai's window. Silver light caressed his skin, his monocle reflecting the light, seeming to glow. It was four years ago at this time that Gonou had breached Hyakugan Maoh's castle, armed only with a dagger and an iron-cold determination.

The soft click on the door being shut pulled him out of his musings. Hakkai turned to find Sanzo standing by the door, his robes hanging loosely about his waist, his black undershirt hugging his skin. A cigarette lay, already lit in his hand. Piercing, violet eyes pinned him to his seat. "Good evening, Sanzo," Hakkai said, trying to hide his relief at seeing the monk. The man didn't move, glaring at him as if he had personally affronted him. "Is something wrong?"

"That's my line," Sanzo shot back, his voice low in order not to wake the other two. Hakkai stared blankly back. Sanzo's soft footsteps brought him stand a few feet away from Hakkai and leaned against a wall. "I don't know why you are acting so strange, and I don't care," Sanzo said, his eyes shut as he pulled on his cigarette. "Just don't let it distract you from our journey."

Hakkai pulled his face into a semblance of his usual grin, it looking almost pained. "Subtle as always, Sanzo."

Sanzo breathed out a stream of smoke, stubbing the dog-end against the wall. Hakkai watched as Sanzo pulled back his blanket preparing to get into bed. "Oi."

Hakkai blinked. "Yes?"

Sanzo stood with his back to him, his head bowed slightly as he spoke. "You know that if you have unfinished business elsewhere you can leave. There is no real reason for you to remain if you don't wish it…" He trailed off. They stood silently for a long moment, the only noise the occasional snore from Goku. Sanzo stared at his bed, waiting for a response, any response from Hakkai. None came. Finally, he snorted and climbed into bed.

Hakkai didn't know what to say. What other business would he have? And besides, he wanted to be there. To be with them and support them. Just as he loved to support Kanan… But, "no real reason"? Did Sanzo think Hakkai wasn't needed? Did Hakkai over think his role as caretaker, when in reality he was only…baggage? Is that what Sanzo said?

Hakkai shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He needed to go for a walk. He stood. Hakaryuu cooed softly, its long white neck arched to peer at him. Walking over, he ran a hand along the white fridge along it's neck. "Stay here, Hakaryuu." The small dragon cooed again, its tiny red eyes staring up at him in concern. Hakkai couldn't even manage a small smile for the creature. "Don't worry. I'll be alright." Dark depression threatened to grasp hold of his mind. Hakkai pulled away and shut the door carefully behind him, unaware of a pair of purple eyes watching with some foreign emotion faint within their depths.

The wooden stairs creaked slightly as he made his way down. He didn't try to keep quiet. Hakkai kept his eyes focused on the ground. It was easier to think with fewer distractions. He cast an empty glance outside, searching for some guidance from

the night. Finding none he decided to let his feet guide him, take him anywhere.

Hakkai traced over the last few moments in his mind. "_There is no real reason for you to remain if you don't wish it…_" Sanzo's words haunted his thoughts. No real reason, huh? What was the reason he came in the first place? Hakkai halted as he

felt a light mist in the air. Because it was expected of him. He was asked and he came. The mist began to form into light droplets of water, running down his neck and through his hair. _I've done as I was asked but… was it really necessary? Should I even…_

Hakkai shook his head in confusion. Too much raced through his mind. The anxiety and pain that was plaguing him seemed relentless. Hakkai thought back, remembering Sanzo's appearance. He seemed angry or upset. Perhaps annoyed was the best word.

Should he even be here? He shouldn't if he was just getting in the way. If he strayed too lost in these thoughts than…its not really worth him being there, is it? Perhaps Sanzo was right, there is no real reason for him to be here. Hakkai stopped and looked up. There was little moonlight left; storm clouds had stolen most of it. Hakkai squinted his eyes to examine his surroundings.

"Where am I?" Hakkai frowned and tried to gain his bearings by studying the empty streets. Nothing looked familiar, Hakkai shrugged it off. He continued to walk hoping to come across something to guide him. _I could just leave. Just walk away from it, collect myself, stop these thoughts_. Hakkai halted, the rain grew heavier pelting him strongly. _Why don't I?_ These thoughts, these memories they controlled him too much. They were stealing his life. They seem to own it now. Hakkai sighed and leaned his head back, wanting to feel the rain on his face. Everyone kept asking him what is wrong. _I am becoming a problem, a burden._

Perhaps, it would be better….and if they didn't really need him. If he was only along for the ride, maybe he should just walk away for a while. _Why should I stay_? Hakkai opened his eyes to stare back at the rain. _Why don't I leave_? The image of an annoyed Sanzo standing over Gojyo's body, full of holes while Goku sat gripping his stomach in starvation passed trough his plagued mind.

He smiled gently, _Ah_, _that's why_. _'Cause they still need me. They still need me to protect them, and them I can protect_. Hakkai brought his face down and looked back down his path. He was ready to return. Everything felt clearer. A shadow slipped out from aside him. Purple eyes caught his green, water streaming down long talons. Hakkai stiffened as the creature gave him a menacing grin before the world vanished into darkness.

End of Part One

Notes:  
  
Skycat: Oh my god! Look! We actually finished the first part!  
  
Me: ::blinks:: Is it real? Is it finally over? Months of grueling over numerous e-mails all over?  
  
Skycat: "Me"? That's your alias? snigger Well, it was only...what...four months worth of email? Now, we can start the NEXT part! Here comes the fun bit! I know you're looking forward to it!  
  
Me: Hey, its 2am and I'm on a massive sugar high! I can barely sit still long enough to write this! Next part? You're writing all of that right?  
  
Skycat: Whaaat?! You're going to make me do it by myself! You know it'll die if you leave me! Noo, "Me"! Heeelp! Okay, so, I'm kinda hyper too. But we're supposed to be talking to our audience! Hi! Thank you for reading this! We spent a lot of time on it.  
  
Me: Oh, yes the audience.......Thanx for reading & hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if the next bit takes a while...  
  
Skycat: It'll be out eventually. "Me" is leaving and school is starting soon, so I'm not sure how this arrangement will work. Hopefully, since we're working by email, it won't cause much problems. We'll do all we can to finish this fic. It'll take a few months, though...  
  
Me: I'll do anything that helps me procrastinate. This is any awfully long authors' note.......  
  
Skycat: I've seen longer, but we probably ought to wrap it up. Okay, everyone, this is Skycat and my co-writer and lazy-butt friend...  
  
Me: Hey! I may be lazy but you are just as lazy!  
  
Skycat: Nuh-uh! I got myself a JOB! Well, two if you count selling my Kitties. You just lay about the house watching LOR and fighting over the computer...and avoiding me when I get the new Saiyuki.  
  
Me: I went to New Zealand and Australia! And last night I went and saw a movie with a friend I hadn't seen all summer! She finally got back from her numerous crazy adventures so we had to do something since she's leaving again in a few days!  
  
Skycat: Blahblah. .  
  
Me: oooooooo! You can be sooooooo mean!  
  
Skycat: I know. It's fun. But we've gotten off track again. We should try and not make into another of our continuous emails, you know.  
  
Me: I like continuous emails, they're fun. But true, this needs to stop. So Goodbye for now.  
  
Skycat: Goodbye, and do review, they will help fuel the speed that which we continue. Besides, "Me" has never gotten any reviews. So, boost her ego, believe me, she needs it. Ja ne!

Me: sticks tongue out at Skycat Bye bye!


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